Wrapped up another Virgo celebration this weekend and made it home to hop in the recliner, gearing up for my Sunday television line up. As I surfed the channels, my heart jumped with glee as I noticed that both 27 Dresses and The Devil Wears Prada were both playing simultaneously tonight. My gut decision led me to enjoy yet another helping of The Devil Wears Prada. I absolutely love this film. Every facet of the life I wanted to lead as an 8 year old girl that declared her desired occupation would be “CEO” is covered in this acclaimed film.
My inner 8 year old and current self adore the role that Miranda Priestly plays in this movie. A no nonsense go getter that has created a lane for her expertise and who continually sets the bar for excellence into the stratosphere. I also appreciate the role and character of Andrea in the movie. Fresh out of college and out to work her way up through the ranks for the profession she loves, writing. Miranda’s toughness forces Andrea to make decisions that open doors for greatness at a costly expense.
This is where a moment of overstanding entered today. This morning before getting busy, I knew there would be a possiblity of catching up with an old friend. I ran through my thoughts stages of growth and how things change between people. One of the things that came to my mind is ownership. When I take responsibility for thoughts, actions, etc. I usually accept reality at surface level. At some point, I dig deeper. Finally, I’ll arrive at a point where I tap the root of thing and begin to ‘overstand.’
That is precisely how I felt watching the film tonight. The movie had not changed but I did. In times past, I smirked when characters accused Andrea of selling out on relationships over ambition.
How many 20 somethings do not find themselves running the rat race to make a difference in the world they strive?
Just becuase it happens-doesn’t make it a healthy undertaking. I along with many others have done that very thing. The rat race towards the top-wherever that is for whomever. I ran that race with pride in Corporate days until I had to undergo several trips to the ER room for swollen wrists and hands (Carpal Tunnel) and the realization that my short term memory was beginning to deteriorate (prolonged exposure to chronic stress). My aha moment from the film tonight does not even stop with the rat race. It stops at the feet of lying to yourself. See for the first time, I saw with my spiritual eye, the lie that Andrea and others tell ourselves when the things we want manifest in less than opportune moments (usually conflict of integrity or prioritization of relationships). Never once, I had allowed the scene about the divorce for Miranda and what it meant for her children sink in. Never once, had I really swallowed the role complications Miranda faced with being at her Apex and the needs of her personal life. I even noticed tonight when another character mentioned that personal life falling apart was a sign of an impeneding promotion.
That was the confirmation I awaited. About three months ago, I commented on a facebook post to a question posed to me on whether or not women could have it all (career, spouse, kids, and any extracurricular desired). I said yes. I was asked by a mentee to illustrate that delicate balance. I tapped my old business phrase of ‘trade offs.’ Everything is relative. Andrea finally learns that towards the end of the movie. Miranda made peace with her burden to be on the painful end of sacrifice. The character that was snubbed a promotion quipped about Miranda making good in the future in a veiled attempt to live with the lie that the trade off of career over personal was the desired outcome.
When I replied to the question with the antedote of trade offs, I was simply inferring that there are limitations on the amount of hours the sun shines down for us to make great use of daylight. There are many who make demands of our time. Yet, it is up to us to know our truth. Who deserves our time and why. The only person that needs to own the ‘why’ is self. No one imposes decisions onto others. Avoidance and fear may be the culprits of coercion but ultimately each day we write our story and decide who and what gets the spotlight. So, with that-I have a new appreciation for ambition and the pursuit.
As a female, I understand the difficulty in wanting certain things in a society that does not always offer equittable support. As a female in my 30s, I still long for my ambitious pursuits and will always adore the Miranda Priestly’s of the world and applaud the Andreas. For in my 30s, I have arrived at a glorious fork in the road. I will have my cake (with cream cheese icing) and gelato to chase it. I want my entreprenueral exploits as well as my civic inspired ambitions. I will meet my future spouse. I’m out to market on having children but if it happens all will be fine. What I have given up is the need to dictate when these glorious moments will take place. I will do my part. I will play my role. But, I will enjoy my life with leaps and bounds because I only have one shot. No career is worth me growing older without companionship. No ambition is worth having no one to cultivate it for. Yes, in my 30s-I simply choose to be open by choosing me.
—below is one of the songs i adore from this movie, enjoy-Retta